I first met Michala in Somerville College, Oxford. It was our very first day and I saw her in the Porter's Lodge. I tried to introduce myself but I think she was so overwhelmed at that moment by her new life (and by my thick Swansea-valleys accent!) that she said little in return before rushing off. I had so many happy, crazy times with Michala, and our other friends at college. Lots of memories come back to me, many centred around eating...eating tomato soup as a hangover cure (after a night at the college 'bop' drinking monster Martini drinks), eating mushroom chow mein with Katherine and Madeleine on Walton street; eating burned, greasy fish fingers and waffles watching Dawson's Creek in the 'women's room'...Michala taught us all the meaning of glamour, grooming and shopping. Her love of music....Morrissey, Pulp...was infectious and inevitably influenced the tastes of all her friends. There are so many memories of her that I am so lucky to have, I only wish we could have made more together. She was one of the warmest people I have ever known - when she hugged you she would squeeze the life out of you. Some people have a light of goodness that shines out of them - it sounds corny - but that really was true of Michala. I wish I had appreciated her more. I wish I had visited her more in the last few years, and there are so many things I should have said to her, but now cannot. I am so stunned and saddened by the loss of her. I loved her. I wish I had cherished this wonderful person more. I can only pray that we will meet again some day. In the meantime, I know we will never forget this special couple, and always remember the brightening effect they had on so many of our lives.
On the plane home from Bristol I came across a quote (from a letter written by Freud), which really rang true for me:
"We will never find a substitute [after a loss]. No matter what may fill the gap, even if it be filled completely, it nevertheless remains something else. And actually, this is how it should be, it is the only way of perpetuating that love which we do not want to relinquish."
- Jane Aspell, Michala's friend
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